I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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