hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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