well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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