i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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