my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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