yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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