Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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