You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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