I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
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Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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