he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize