So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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