Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize