Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He better not be in your backpack
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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