Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize