I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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