I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
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last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
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Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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