We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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