I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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