Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize