Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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