I love having hate sex.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
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At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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