i may or may not be watching the land before time
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize