Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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