she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize