drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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