Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
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This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
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I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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