Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
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I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
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My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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