Soap is not a condiment
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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