he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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