You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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