apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize