I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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