thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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