I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize