I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
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Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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