He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
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You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
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Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize