I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
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Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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