And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize