Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
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She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
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The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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