You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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