Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize