pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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