fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize