I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize