he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize