I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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