when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize