I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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