thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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