I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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